


only we could be so oblivious

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2015!phan, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Holidays, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5748136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Phil’d told his parents that Dan was his boyfriend when he really wasn’t, he hadn’t expected it to go this far. He thought that surely, a couple fake kisses and holding hands in front of his family couldn’t cause any change in a six-year friendship, but maybe he thought wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only we could be so oblivious

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted nearer to christmas so. let's just pretend it's christmas again

Phil sat on the edge of his parents’ bathtub with the bathroom door locked, holding his cellphone up to his ear. As he’d just escaped from his family to make a panicked call, he nervously bounced his knee while waiting for his friend Dan to pick up the phone. After the phone rang three times, the fourth ring was cut off by a “Hello?”

“Hey. Hi. Dan,” Phil started, whispering. “You know how I’m at my parents’ house, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Don’t tell me your weird aunt showed up and you need me to rescue you, like last time. I can’t stealthily smash my head on your parents’ doorframe attempting to sneak in _every_ year.” Though he couldn’t see Dan, Phil assumed that he was cringing at the memory.

“No. It’s different this time.” Phil kept his voice low so that anyone who might be in the hallway wouldn’t hear him.

“Is it?” Dan seemed uninterested.

“Mhm. I’m gonna need you to come over for Christmas dinner–”

“I thought we agreed Christmas is _separate_ family time.”

“Well, it was… until now. Anyway–”

“I can’t just cancel Christmas dinner plans with my family on Christmas Eve, Phil,” Dan sighed, “They’ve already told everyone I’m going to be here.”

Phil bit his lip anxiously, “Just hear me out.”

“Alright, whatever. Go on.”

“So, you know how my mum is always pestering me about a relationship? She really wants grandchildren or whatever,” Phil paused, but Dan didn’t say anything, so he continued. “Well, she was asking again if I had a girlfriend or a boyfriend and it is _quite_ possible I _might_ have said you.”

“Wait, what? … _Why_?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, I was sick of her asking so I just said the first name that came to mind, and… Anyway, she was super happy,” – Phil refrained from telling Dan about his mother’s _‘Oh, I always knew you two would end up together eventually!’_ remark – “and asked if you were coming over for Christmas dinner.”

“And you said _no_ ,” Dan replied, though he already knew that he was wrong.

“I was going to say no when Martyn butted in and said ‘Of course he’s coming; those two can never be apart for more than a day.’ Thanks Martyn.”

“Thanks Martyn,” Dan repeated. The two were both so used to rumors of themselves dating that the fact Phil had even said this wasn’t very surprising to them. While they were completely platonic as far as it goes, there were still a few wandering thoughts once in a blue moon (Dan’s collarbones were just so _pretty_ ). “Well, can’t you just tell your mum you lied?”

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil whined.

“What? You got yourself into this. Why should I be punished?”

“Eating dinner with my family is not punishment,” Phil rebutted, to which Dan probably rolled his eyes.

“Taking a four hour train ride on Christmas Eve is, though.”

“ _Please_ ,” Phil begged, “for me.”

“Phil, no. Just tell your mum you were playing a trick or something.” Dan suggested, as if it were easy. With Phil’s mum, it wouldn’t be. She’d never believe Phil would lie, especially not about that.

As Dan wouldn’t simply comply, Phil had to bring out the big guns to show Dan he was completely serious. “If you come, I won’t sneak your cereal anymore. I’ll even buy my _own_.”

Dan hesitated. “How do I know you’re not lying?” he asked skeptically.

“I promise. I’d even _pinky_ promise if you were here right now.” Phil attempted to make the childish words sound as professional as possible.

“You really are desperate.” Dan laughed, before pausing for a moment and continuing with, “You owe me, Lester.”

“Oh, my god. Thank you!” Phil stopped bouncing his knee, grateful that his friend would help him out of this mess (or make it worse).

“Don’t mention it. And when I say that I mean _seriously_ , don’t mention it to anyone.”

“See you in a couple of hours.” Phil smiled as he said good bye and Dan mumbled something snarky in response.

To keep up his facade, Phil flushed the toilet and washed his hands for good measure before emerging into the hallway, happy to see that none of his family had been snooping.

Phil tried to keep away from the rest of the family; as much as he loved them, he couldn’t bear their questions at the moment. He reclined on one of the old sofas in the living room while Martyn, Cornelia (Martyn’s girlfriend), and his father chatted in the kitchen. Phil knew his mother would be on her way to hound Phil about details in his relationship any minute, so he mentally prepared himself.

Phil’s mother walked into the room after Phil had a measly few seconds to prepare, and she wore a gigantic smile on her face. As she sat directly next to her son and set her hand on his knee, her eyes lit up. “I’m just so happy for you,” she squeezed his knee, “I know this is quite a ‘mum’ thing to say, but the first time I met that boy, I knew he was special to you.”

And, well, she wasn’t lying. Dan was definitely special to Phil, of _course_ he was, just not in the way his mum was picturing. Dan and Phil’s relationship was unique in many aspects, but romantic had never been one of them.

“I don’t mean to pry,” she started, and Phil almost rolled his eyes. Of course she meant to pry, and she would continue to pry all night and all of tomorrow. “But have you and Dan been dating the whole six years, or have you just started recently?”

Phil cracked a smile to distract her for a moment while he could think how to answer. He opted for the fan theory, “We dated back in 2009, broke up in 2012,” he started, trying to remember how exactly the fans thought the timeline went. “and sometime in 2014 we got back together.”

His mother looked shocked, “You broke up?”

Phil frowned, trying to fill the part, “Yeah. That was a difficult time for… us.”

2012 really _hadn’t_ been the greatest to Dan and Phil’s friendship – after all, Dan had family issues he was dealing with at the time, and Phil didn’t know how to help. When he tried, Dan would just yell at him, so he stopped trying. Despite the speculations, though, the pair weren’t distant from each other because of “breaking up.”

“Oh,” Phil’s mum lifted her frown, “But you’re back together now?”

Phil forced a laugh, “Yep!”

“That’s great.” She grinned, “So, when is Dan going to arrive?”

“Ah, he said he should get here around…” Phil glanced up at the clock and counted forward four hours. “Five.”

“Just in time for dinner! I’ll be sure to set him a place next to yours.” (As if Dan didn’t always sit next to Phil, anyway.)

Phil just nodded, a smile plastered across his cheeks. As soon as his mother left the room, another thought hit him. Would he have to kiss Dan? Hold his hand? What other couple-y things did this entail, exactly? He figured he should think up an explicit plan for both himself and Dan, so they knew the boundaries and just what they’d have to act out.

Really, though, it wasn’t like they’d never kissed before. Drunk truth-or-dare, drunk egging on from their friends, drunk-ness in general – nothing sober, really. Nothing they’d ever remembered in detail. This would be… different.

Phil decided he’d kiss Dan on the cheek when he arrived, hold his hand at the dinner table, and sit with him on the couch afterwards. They’d share the guest room bed, but they’d shared beds so many times before that it wouldn’t be a problem. That way, the duo could come across as couple-y without really being couple-y. This didn’t have to be a big deal, and Phil intended on keeping it under control.

* * *

Practically the moment Dan arrived, however, Phil’s plan crumbled. Dan knocked on the front door, and Phil’s family waited for him to greet his “boyfriend.” Right, so it was time to kiss Dan’s cheek, as Phil’d established to himself prior. But, maybe he should have let Dan in on this plan, as when he opened the door with a “Hi, Dan!” and a swift tilt of his head to meet Dan’s cheek, Dan turned his head in confusion and their lips unexpectedly collided full on. Whoops.

Dan blushed and opened his mouth to apologize, but Phil gave him a stern “just roll with it” look, though his cheeks were tinted pink as well.

“How was the train?” Phil asked afterwards, gesturing for Dan to follow him into the house. Dan was greeted by three beaming Lesters and one grinning Cornelia, to which he smiled, albeit a bit uncomfortably, back.

“Not too bad,” he answered Phil’s question, “I mean, barely anyone else was on with me because it’s _Christmas Eve_.” Dan was not going to let Phil off the hook easily.

Phil raised an eyebrow at Dan’s tone, and in response looped his arm around Dan’s waist. If Dan wanted to make this difficult, Phil was going to try his hardest to counteract him.

“Dinner will be ready in half an hour or so,” Phil’s father chimed in, looking over at the clock.

“Why don’t you get Dan settled in, Phil?” his mother suggested, to which Phil let out a little sigh of relief. On their own, Dan and Phil could discuss just what they’d gotten themselves into and how they’d get themselves out.

Phil nodded at his mother before guiding Dan down the hallway. When they were out of eyeshot of Phil’s family, Phil’s hand lingered before dropping from Dan’s hip.

Dan knew his way around Phil’s parents house just fine on his own, as he’d been there countless times before. This time, however, he wouldn’t be staying in the guest bedroom alone.

When the door of the bedroom clicked shut with both Dan and Phil inside, Dan plopped onto the bed. He stared up at the ceiling as Phil sat himself on the very edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Dan.

“I didn’t mean to kiss you before,” Dan spoke up, causing Phil to snort.

“I know that.”

“But you _did_ mean to put your arm around me,” Dan sat up and smirked at Phil with a raised brow.

“Only to keep up the act,” Phil reflected Dan’s expression. “Plus, I figured it might agitate you a bit.” _And you’re kinda cute when you’re agitated._

“Ha-ha.” Dan deadpanned, “But seriously, why did you get us into this mess? If we don’t tell them now that it was just a slip of your tongue and we’re not _seriously_ dating, we’ll be stuck pretending the rest of our lives.”

But really, the more Phil thought about it, the slip of his tongue might’ve been a Freudian one. “I already told you, my mum asked if I was dating someone–”

“You didn’t have to say me.”

“–but you were the first person that came to mind.”

“Why?”

Phil chewed his lip, _Because it makes sense_. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I think we should tell them.”

“Dan,” Phil tried to justify, “you’re here now, we’ve already kissed, and they _definitely_ wouldn’t believe us even if we told them now.” He paused. “Plus, it’s just my family. They won’t tell anyone else.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “Except _my_ family.”

“Well, okay. Maybe. But they’re not gonna tweet anything about it or anything like that; it’ll be fine.”

Dan sighed, “Fine. But I don’t want to kiss you again.”

Phil playfully pouted, “Why not? Too _icky_ for you?” He puckered up and began to make kissy noises towards Dan, turning his body and crawling over Dan, peppering little slimy kisses all around his face while Dan squirmed and laughed underneath him.

“Get off of me, you spoon!”

Phil retreated, giggling relentlessly as Dan tried to rub all of the ‘Phil germs’ off his face.

* * *

As promised, Dan had a place set right next to Phil for dinner. In fact, Dan was set at the head of the table with Phil on the corner next to him – perfect spots for a bout of footsie (which Phil intended to take advantage of).

Phil’s family started off light in conversation, mostly just eating and saying how good everything was. After their plates started to diminish, however, they began to get nosy.

“So, Dan,” Phil’s mother was the first to speak up, causing Phil inhale sharply: _Here it comes_. “Do you want kids when you’re older?”

“Mum!” Phil hadn’t expected her to jump right in so quickly. He figured she’d ask at some point, but not without easing into it. “Leave him alone.”

“What? It’s an innocent question,” she grinned, looking over at Dan, awaiting a response.

Dan glanced over at Phil, a glint of something devious in his eyes. He reached across the table, taking Phil’s hand in his own. “Well,” he started.

Phil kicked Dan’s foot under the table. Just an hour ago Dan had been so against this whole scenario, but now he’d completely submerged himself in the story. Well, that was what Phil’d asked of him, he guessed.

“I’ve always wanted two or three kids,” Dan said, Phil’s mother’s face lighting up tremendously in response. “And I will be the best parent that’s ever existed.”

“Phil will give you a run for your money,” Phil’s father butted in, “He’s great with kids.”

Phil felt his cheeks warm, Dan observing so and deciding to make it even worse.

“Okay, Phil and I _together_ would make the best set of parents that’ve ever existed.”

As Phil’s mother basically squealed at the sentence, Phil’s whole face went red. He lowered his head, looking down into his lap with a subdued grin across his face. The smile dropped when he remembered this was all an act. Dan didn’t mean any of it, of course. They were pretending; they were playing a childhood game of _House_. He subtly slid his hand out of Dan’s.

“Stop being disgusting,” Martyn rolled his eyes, unknowingly saving Phil from the situation. Cornelia laughed and nodded in agreement.

Phil offered to clean up after everyone had finished eating, so as they all migrated to the living room, Phil took to washing the dishes. Dan stuck around in the kitchen, helping out as a good “boyfriend” would do. Despite the fact no one was watching, Dan still dragged his fingers against Phil’s arm and back as he set plates down on the counter next to him. Phil forced himself to over-exaggerate a wink towards his friend, while he really was regretting ever telling Dan to come over. He should’ve just admitted to his mum he was lying before he invested himself in this. Dan was supposed to be his _platonic_ friend of six years, and one kiss and a little fake banter shouldn’t have affected that. Well, maybe it was overdue.

* * *

Later, Phil wasn’t particularly helped out by the fact he was sat on the couch with his thigh pressed up against Dan’s, their legs intertwined at the ankle. While his family and Dan chatted away about cheesy Christmas romcoms and made bets on which family members that were to come over tomorrow for dinner would say rude things, Phil sat still and tried to keep his heart from jumping out of his throat.

The subject quickly changed again to Dan and Phil’s newly revealed relationship, which prompted Dan to take Phil’s hand in his own again. He stroked his thumb softly across Phil’s, and Phil had to concentrate so that he wouldn’t whimper. Phil hadn’t been actively listening to the conversation, but his attention was grabbed when Dan said, “Of course. I love him so much.” and then turned and kissed Phil on the cheek. Okay. Okay. Phil was _not_ okay.

Eventually, Cornelia noticed.

“Hey, Phil?” she got his attention and in turn made everyone else in the room look over to Phil, as well, “Is something wrong?”

Phil swallowed, “I- uh, I think I need to use the bathroom.” He forced a chuckle, untangling his feet from Dan’s. “Something’s not sitting well.” He made it seem as if he were talking about food, but they didn’t have to know he wasn’t.

He strode to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and leaning his hands on the counter in front of the sink. He couldn’t stop thinking _what is wrong with me?_ as he inspected his flushed face in the mirror. Closing his eyes and counting to ten, Phil attempted to calm himself down. When he opened his eyes to meet his reflection in the mirror once again, he was determined to keep whatever had just bubbled out of him under lock and key. Dan didn’t need to know that when his thigh pressed against Phil’s, it burned. He didn’t need to know that suddenly Phil’s eyes had opened to something that had _always_ been there, really. He didn’t need to know that his laugh was and had always been the sole reason for Phil’s smile.

Phil couldn’t believe himself. All these years of living with Dan Howell, and he’d never acknowledged the burning feeling in his chest whenever their eyes met? He’d pushed it to the back of his brain throughout the years, along with the straying thoughts of how nice of sounds Dan would make while Phil kissed his neck – anyway, after tomorrow, he and Dan would be back to normal. Phil didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad one.

With a final deep inhale, Phil unclicked the lock and rejoined his family in the living room. He was careful to put a few inches of distance between Dan and himself when he sat down, though his efforts were completely overridden when Dan immediately scooted over and set his head on Phil’s shoulder. Phil’s mother cooed; Phil wanted to scream. Instead, he smiled as if his insides didn’t feel like they were all simultaneously imploding.

* * *

“Hey,” Dan entered the bathroom connected to the guest room as Phil brushed his teeth. “you’d tell me if I went too far, yeah? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

Phil spat his toothpaste into the sink. “Yeah. I’m fine. You’re fine.”

“Are you sure? I mean I kind of got carried away, I guess. You didn’t seem very happy.” Dan pulled at the hem of his shirt. “I know this was all your idea, but we can stop if you want to.”

Phil spat again into the sink before meeting eyes with Dan and smiling. “It’s fine. Just one more day, then we’re normal again.”

Dan nodded, picking up his toothbrush. Phil left him alone in the bathroom, changing into some pyjama pants before crawling under the covers. He wiggled his toes under the blanket, waiting for Dan to come back in and turn off the light. It was a few minutes before he did, and he proceeded to join Phil under the comforter.

Phil couldn’t sleep, mainly because of his sudden flash of awareness that _holy fuck, I’m in love with my best friend_. Apparently Dan couldn’t sleep either, as a few minutes of quiet darkness passed before he tapped on Phil’s shoulder.

“Hmm?” Phil hummed, turning his body to face Dan.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.” Phil hoped Dan couldn’t hear how hard his heart was beating.

Dan wet his bottom lip, and Phil could only faintly see him in the darkness. “I know this is going to sound creepy and weird.”

“No, it won’t.” Phil assured, somewhat hoping Dan was feeling the same thing as him but mostly telling himself not to get his hopes up.

“But it will. And I’m not sure I should… well, too late now.” Dan smiled nervously, and Phil could see the white of his teeth through the dark. “Maybe… I wasn’t really lying before.”

“What?”

“When I said I love you.” Dan pursed his lips for a second. “I wasn’t lying.”

Phil wished the lights were on, so he could at least attempt to read Dan’s expression. Instead, he was stuck in the dark. “I know you love me,” Phil figured Dan had to be saying this platonically. “You wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t. You’d have just told me to sod off a long time ago.” There was no way that after six years, both of them had come to the same realization on the same day. Except, maybe there was a way.

“I know. I know. I meant… I _love_ you.” Dan’s breathing audibly hitched.

“Like–”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” Phil breathed out, not realizing he’d too been holding his breath.

“Sorry. That’s weird, isn’t it? After six _years_. Oh, my god. Please forget I said anything; I don’t want to ruin anything,” Dan rambled, obviously regretting what he’d said prior. “Seriously-”

“Can I kiss you?” Phil cut him off, “For real this time.”

“ _Please_.” Phil could hear the relief in Dan’s voice.

Phil sat up, Dan following suit. A light smile danced on Phil’s lips before he leaned forward, meeting Dan in the middle. This was real. They weren’t drunk; this wasn’t an accident. And Phil had always thought Dan was beautiful, even if he’d never verbalized it.

They pulled away after a second, trying to analyze each other’s eyes in the dark.

“Was that weird for you?” Dan spoke up, his line of sight switching rapidly back and forth between what he could see of Phil’s eyes and his lips.

“No.”

“Good,” Dan smiled, looping his hand around the base of Phil’s neck and bringing him close again.

And if Phil finally got to hear the noises that Dan made while Phil touched his neck and peppered his collarbones with kisses, well, that was their business.

Maybe their platonic streak was soiled, but maybe that didn’t matter. Tomorrow, anyway, they wouldn’t have to pretend to be in love (Did they ever have to pretend, really?). It was strange, in a good way. It was new. And that was more than okay.


End file.
